Tuesday 15 September 2015

6 months in...

How the hell has that happened!? Goodness knows.

It's been tough but i figured that i'd do a top tips and things we've come to realise sort of blog.

Ask the foster carer(s) every single question you can think of. Foster carers know more than most of the other professionals involved but don't necessarily know what you want or need to know. Our LOs FCs were great but were surprised at how many questions we asked. They've been foster carers for over 20 years but have never been asked so many questions.

You will be blamed for everything the kids have been through. They don't realise and in some cases won't intend to but each time they realise that something was off or start coming to terms with something that happened with BPs, you will be blamed in every way a person can be.

CPRs have only half of what you need to know in them. Ours are horrendous. Things that happened that are extreme are no where to be seen. So much information missing and potentially (although we have no way of proving it) some lies from Voldemort.

You will have to fight for support. Do not rely on the kids social worker to inform other people involved, Voldemort didn't and as a result we really had to fight and if it wasn't for the support of our agency i really don't think we would have had any support yet.

Adopting is work. All day everyday you will work your arse off and the chances are it won't feel like you're making any progress for a long long time. We're just starting to see some steps forward now and that is quick.

Please, please, please choose your agency carefully. Our agency are always going above and beyond to ensure that we have everything we need. We've come so close to disrupting in the last couple of months and they've saved our arses over and over again, i can not stress that enough.

Talk to and keep in touch with as many adopters as you can. Friends, family, teachers etc may get it but they aren't living it day in day out and the only people who truly appreciate what it takes are other adopters.

School can make all of the difference. Our school is amazing, they respect us, our ideas and our parenting style. They never question us and are always keeping us up to date with what's happening with both of our kids. They don't pressure the kids and are constantly readjusting what they already know.

This is only really brief, i could go on for hours but i think these are the key points.


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