Last week we decided that the timing was right to tell family and friends that we're starting the adoption process.
It has gone so well! Firstly we told my sister in law and my youngest sister. My sister was a little confused by it all but only really because she didn't really understand why we felt that we had to announce it (in a positive way). She's been doing a few assignments recently at college on fostering and adoption so has a reasonable understanding of what we're entering into and is really happy that she is going to be an aunty in the not to distant future.
My sister in law was SO excited! She's very happy about it and openly offered to help in anyway that she can. Referee number one secured.
Next it was parents. We called my Mum (who doesn't live locally) to tell her and straight away she was very excited. She asked lots of questions which were all sensible questions and even after we put the phone down, she continued to text saying how excited she was and how proud she of us.
Later that evening we visited my mother and father in law and told them. They were both a little more reserved but they are excited. My father in law is very much a 'go with the flow' sort of guy so is happy for us and supportive but until things progress further, he doesn't feel the need to be hands on. He's the same with my sister in laws children so it's not at all surprising.
We both feel like my mother in law has questions but needs to think about them before she asks them but again this is completely normal for her, she likes to process before acting on anything.
Next it was onto some of our best friends and those 'family' members that aren't actually related.
Our best friends were amazing!! Both of them were quite literally jumping up and down with excitement and more than happy to be our referees. We've been around their children and babysat for them from birth so having them say that they'll be our referees is amazing.
Our kids have lots of Uncles and Aunty's and cousins already!
Next it was onto my 'Aunty and Uncle' (the ones that aren't technically related but we've always treated them as family).
My Uncle has always been a bit of a joker and has taken every opportunity to take the mick and try to wind me up in a really lovely playful way but as soon as we told them, he said one of the nicest things he's ever said to me. He said that if something happened to them and it came to it, he would have no worries whatsoever about us raising their children.
When you know someone and your main relationship with them is a joker, take the mick sort of relationship, to hear that it's amazing!
My Aunty was also amazing and spoke about her experience with adopted children through work and really filled us with hope. They're both willing to be our referees too!
Next we told a neighbour who has been a really good friend of ours for the last few years and she was over the moon. She again is willing to be a referee so our referee count is at 3 couples and one single (although our neighbours husband may well be chipping in on it too.)
Overall i am so bloody happy! So many people are so happy for and so willing to do stuff to help us in any way they can. It's very exciting!
Next thing is to make our final decision on an agency or local authority....
Tuesday 25 February 2014
Friday 14 February 2014
Open Evenings...
So last night was the date of what was supposed to be our first open evening but because i've been so keen to crack on with everything, i found another one to go to last week.
We arrived later than we anticipated due to traffic but when we arrived everyone was very friendly and welcoming, they made sure that we had our information packs and had signed in so that they knew who we are and then they sorted us with a drink and a biscuit (bonus!).
Once we sat down, we watched a quick presentation about the agency and generally about fostering and adoption. After that there was a quick introduction to the agencies team and to some members of the adoption team of one of the local authorities near us (we are right on the cusp of one LA and in another so we have options there too) who work in partnership with the agency to try and provide the best possible support.
Once the official bit were talked through, we had a chat with an adopter who has recently gone through the process which again was great.
Lots of information was given to us and every question we could think of was answered. It was great to see the LA and VA working together even though it was only an information night. They were all incredibly relaxed and it was honestly brilliant.
When we left, we were so excited about everything and talked everything through for a good couple of hours. It was inspiring!
Fast forward a week and off we went to another agency for another evening.
Straight away, it just didn't feel the same. We had a talk from a couple of social workers and talked with some new parents which again was very informative and we learnt some new things about the process.
We got another information pack and spoke to some other people at the end. One of the social workers asked us some questions but didn't seem to be too interested in our answers, she even mentioned that she was hoping to still be able to watch her soaps when she got home. Weird thing to say so far as we're concerned.
Anyway, when we left i asked my wife which agency she was feeling best about. She was reluctant to say at first until i said that i didn't know why necessarily but it was definitely the first and she agreed and said that it was because she didn't know why that she was worried about saying something.
We spent much of the evening discussing it again and asking twitter what they thought and decided that our gut instinct is the best tool we have so to go with it.
Now for one more open evening with the LA who's boundaries we live within during fostering and adoption week and we'll be going for stage one!!
We arrived later than we anticipated due to traffic but when we arrived everyone was very friendly and welcoming, they made sure that we had our information packs and had signed in so that they knew who we are and then they sorted us with a drink and a biscuit (bonus!).
Once we sat down, we watched a quick presentation about the agency and generally about fostering and adoption. After that there was a quick introduction to the agencies team and to some members of the adoption team of one of the local authorities near us (we are right on the cusp of one LA and in another so we have options there too) who work in partnership with the agency to try and provide the best possible support.
Once the official bit were talked through, we had a chat with an adopter who has recently gone through the process which again was great.
Lots of information was given to us and every question we could think of was answered. It was great to see the LA and VA working together even though it was only an information night. They were all incredibly relaxed and it was honestly brilliant.
When we left, we were so excited about everything and talked everything through for a good couple of hours. It was inspiring!
Fast forward a week and off we went to another agency for another evening.
Straight away, it just didn't feel the same. We had a talk from a couple of social workers and talked with some new parents which again was very informative and we learnt some new things about the process.
We got another information pack and spoke to some other people at the end. One of the social workers asked us some questions but didn't seem to be too interested in our answers, she even mentioned that she was hoping to still be able to watch her soaps when she got home. Weird thing to say so far as we're concerned.
Anyway, when we left i asked my wife which agency she was feeling best about. She was reluctant to say at first until i said that i didn't know why necessarily but it was definitely the first and she agreed and said that it was because she didn't know why that she was worried about saying something.
We spent much of the evening discussing it again and asking twitter what they thought and decided that our gut instinct is the best tool we have so to go with it.
Now for one more open evening with the LA who's boundaries we live within during fostering and adoption week and we'll be going for stage one!!
Tuesday 4 February 2014
Let's get this thing started!
*waves*
Hi everyone!
I'm a 20 something living in the UK and one half of a lesbian couple. I've been with my wife for more than 10 years now and for the last 3 years we've been really focussed on starting a family.
We've always agreed on having a reasonably large family. Initially we said that we'd like to have a child each and adopt siblings but since then, i have had some issues that prevent me from ovulating and therefore i'll need additional help to conceive. We decided that it would be best if my wife were the one to carry but still have a couple of children.
To cut a long story short, we've been trying to conceive with a known donor for 2 and a half years. We had a miscarriage in 2012 that damn near broke our hearts but other than that we haven't managed to get there yet. We've been for tests at the hospital and everything is normal.
We both feel ready to be parents and because of that we don't want to have to wait another couple of years before we take more steps towards it so now feels like a good time to start the adoption process.
We having registered our interest with a local adoption charity in our area and have booked in for an open evening of sorts on February 13th. We're really looking forward to it and really hoping that we can get the process started as soon as possible.
Stay tuned for updates!
Hi everyone!
I'm a 20 something living in the UK and one half of a lesbian couple. I've been with my wife for more than 10 years now and for the last 3 years we've been really focussed on starting a family.
We've always agreed on having a reasonably large family. Initially we said that we'd like to have a child each and adopt siblings but since then, i have had some issues that prevent me from ovulating and therefore i'll need additional help to conceive. We decided that it would be best if my wife were the one to carry but still have a couple of children.
To cut a long story short, we've been trying to conceive with a known donor for 2 and a half years. We had a miscarriage in 2012 that damn near broke our hearts but other than that we haven't managed to get there yet. We've been for tests at the hospital and everything is normal.
We both feel ready to be parents and because of that we don't want to have to wait another couple of years before we take more steps towards it so now feels like a good time to start the adoption process.
We having registered our interest with a local adoption charity in our area and have booked in for an open evening of sorts on February 13th. We're really looking forward to it and really hoping that we can get the process started as soon as possible.
Stay tuned for updates!
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