Sunday 26 July 2015

Food For Thought

Our children came to us with no known food issues. There was never any indication that they had ever been without food, i'd even go as far to say as there seemed to be too much.

Shortly after they moved in Little started eating toothpaste and alarm bells started ringing. We soon realised that neither of them would chew their food and that if there was food around, neither of them could relax. We began to think that they had definitely not been fed consistently especially after Big started eyeing up the scraps after having eaten a huge Sunday Dinner. We went to a party with your standard buffet food and before long they were stealing stuff constantly.

We mentioned our concerns to our social worker and Voldemort but it was only our social worker that showed any sort of concern. Eventually our SW decided to tell Voldemort that she believes that the children had had lots of food for a very limited time then had to go without for days/weeks on end. Voldemort then responds with, "yeah, that's exactly how it was." Nothing is mentioned in the CPRs at all.

This was when we decided to go behind Voldermorts back and try something that our agency had told us about all through our training.

Basically, we got a small cool bag (the sort you'd have for an individual picnic) and took the kids to the supermarket and allowed them to choose things that didn't need cooking, no sweets, no chocolate and no crisps. Once we got home we filled the bags as full as we possibly could by taking everything out of the wrappers and explained to them both that this is their food. They don't share anything, swap anything, the don't need to ask to have it, they can have as much or as little as they want at any given time. From that moment on we ignored the existence of the box until it needed refilling.

The first day, Big sat and ate for almost 3 hours solid after having a normal lunch. It didn't take long before the sick bucket came out and the nausea started. 5 minutes with their head in the bucket and it was back to eating without having thrown up. This 5 minutes on, 5 minutes off cycle for the next hour or so. Then it was time for dinner. Big's face was a picture, the thought of having to eat a full meal seemed to scare them!!

We encouraged them both to eat their meals normally saying things like, "we're a bit worried because you've not eaten much today" etc. We told school all about it when they went back (the box stayed at home and was only available whilst they were home) the next day and explained why we were doing it. They were incredibly supportive.

Little started to get bored of it first but we always knew that it would work that way. After about 5 days it was only at night that they would want it out and it would only last a few minutes.

Big took about an extra week. We realised that it was only last thing at night and first thing in the morning that they would want it so we started saying that we'll see them in the morning for breakfast whilst we were wishing them goodnight. The very next night Big announced that they didn't want it tonight and gave it to Wife to take downstairs. We were in total shock.

We then took some advice from our agency about how to remove it. We didn't want to phase it out because the theory was that it was always full but we didn't want to surprise them with it not being there. We were advised to talk to them about how they don't seem to want it at the minute so we're going to put it away and if it feels too strange then we can always bring it back.

We did that on Thursday which was day 19 and so far neither of them have been too bothered. Big has been a little anxious about where it is but hasn't wanted it.

It's been a bit of a rollercoaster, the initial few days really got to us both. Absolutely no idea how they didn't throw up after eating for so long, seeing them doing it made us both feel so ill. We got so angry with it but it wasn't anger aimed at the kids, for the first time since they came home it was anger at their BPs.

At one point Big had left the lid open and because the food had got warm, some stuff had started to go furry. Big wasn't bothered, they were sat in bed with both hands full of food eating without thinking about what it was. They were pretty much forgetting to breathe and only gasping for air every minute or so. What the hell happened for them to want to do that?!

We're much better off for it, the kids have responded really well and are hopeful going to continue and if not, we'll just bring it out again.

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