Gender Stereotypes

We had a visit from our stage one social worker yesterday, she made a comment about our newly decorated bedroom being ideal for a boy because of the toys we already have in there. I called her on it by telling her that it was all of the stuff i was into as a kid and she apologised for stereotyping.

I mentioned it on twitter and we got into a really good discussion about it and the differences between girls and boys and what's generally seen as acceptable.

I'm all for our children, male or female, to express themselves in any way. If that means we have a boy that wants to run around in dresses and sleep in a princess bedroom, that's fine because it's his preference. In the same way, if we have a girl that never wants to be associated with the colour pink, again that's fine. I'm not saying that if a girl wants to wear nothing but pink and a boy wants to never even see a doll that they should be forced to, it's about their personal preference.

Toys in particular really drive me mad. You walk into any toy shop and have a quick look around, instantly you'll notice the divide between girls (pink) and boys (blue, red green, black) toys. Why can't toys just be toys?? Sweden have this one spot on, their 'Toys R Us' equivalent launched a new catalogue in late 2012 showing boys and girls playing with the toys on each page. A quick google search will bring you some images up. Isn't that how it's meant to be though? Children learn so much through play and by limiting what they're allowed to play with creates a negative attitude towards the anything that isn't included as the 'norm' for that gender.

Girls tend to have the princess thing forced upon them from an incredibly early age, so many people instantly think that because they're having a female, she'll be a 'girly girl' and want to grow up to be a princess when they're older so few people think to call them anything else. I have another twitter account and a while ago i saw this link and loved it. If we have a girl or girls, i'll be using them daily.

Girls get it before they're even born. How many times have you heard of someone having a girl and being told, "Oooh! You'll finally have someone to go shopping with!!" or something equally as stereotypical. Why is it that girls are the ones that are generally encouraged to help in the kitchen and more so with the cleaning? Are we really still living in the 1950s ideology of what a woman should be? Have we not moved on from the cleaning, cooking and child rearing image at all?

I do think that boys have a much more difficult time of it than girls especially when it comes to their emotions. If you read the responses to this tweet you'll see that i had a great reply from 'Two out of Three' who, i think, hits the nail perfectly on the head.

Generally speaking, boys (and in many cases men) aren't expected to show emotion or any feminine attributes because they are then perceived as weak or weird. Surely being able to show that you're upset & want a cuddle regardless of you age is much better for your mental well being than bottling it up and then potentially getting angry because you don't know how to deal with it?

I hear so many boys being bullied when they try new things or want to play with different toys and (scarily!!) a lot of it comes directly from the parents. I've heard boys being asked if they're a weirdo because they wanted to try a bit of nail varnish on 1 or 2 finger nails, I've heard parents calling their sons girls because they've cried for some reason or another, i hear boys being called gay by their peers constantly because they don't like this 'boys' toy/game/tv program/computer game/colour.

I believe that we need to allow children to just be who they without putting this excessive social pressure on them to conform to something they may not be.

I believe that a girl who wants to climb trees and get dirty will grow up being as strong and brilliant as the girl who wanted to dress head to toe in pink everyday.

I believe that a boy who wants to play dress up and sing along with songs on his favourite film will be just as amazing and well balanced as a boy who wants to do nothing more than rough and tumble.

The difference being that it's their choice, not anyone else's. Children have a right to find out who they are without feeling restricted by what society calls 'normal'.