It's been a couple of weeks but i thought it might be good for me to get our panel experience down in the blog :)
We arrived close to our agency almost an hour early so decided that a trip to costa was in order. A hot chocolate and short walk and we arrived! We were nervous, our social worker was visibly nervous as it was her first ever panel and we are her first couple.
Before long, the time arrived for her (another social worker who knows us pretty well joined her for a bit of support) to go in and get quizzed. After about 15 minutes, we were invited in.
Walking into that room is pretty intimidating!! We had 8 panel members and our social worker(s) and the room was really quite full, goodness knows what it would have been like if there were more people.
One of the panel members had run the workshops during stage one and was one of the reasons we chose our agency, seeing her face was such a relief. We calmed right down. The questions soon started and we got into a rhythm with them. Almost everyone was really pleased with our answers and the general feeling in the room was one of complete support.
Now i say almost everyone because there was one panel member who was not happy about anything we said. They asked us to name 3 parenting qualities we believe we possess and when we started, we just kept going. The person in question stopped us after a couple of minutes and said, "well that was 2." the social worker who was there for support was not happy. She folded her arms and said, "I counted 4."
After that there was a question about schools and we said that more than anything, we want a school that can meet the needs of our children and teach about diversity. We mentioned that we'd visited a faith school who teach tolerance and said that tolerance just isn't good enough for us. We also mentioned that results and league tables are relatively low on our list of needs from a school. Awkward panel member hated that answer.
After that we were asked to leave. We waited in the back room for the chair and vice chair to come and tell us the verdict and it took what felt like forever. They eventually appeared, told us to relax and said that it was a yes! Incredibly happy!!
Our social worker came through to us and we had a chat about it. Awkward panel member had said no. During the approval process we have decluttered most of the house, redecorated parts, lost a lot of weight each and had a big overhaul on our garden. APM's official reasoning for saying no was that they're convinced that we've done all of that stuff to be approved and won't ever keep it up and they were concerned with us not approaching any schools until the end of term (despite us not even starting stage 2 until the end of June).
Our social worker was furious and even said that all of the questions APM asked made her think they hadn't even read our PAR.
We then decided to go to the nearest town centre for some lunch and a celebratory cider and before long, the couple that went in afterwards joined us. Turns out that APM was nice as pie and approved them despite them not doing things that had been asked of them along the to do with their house, garden and weight.
I don't want to think it but i can't help feeling like maybe APM's decision had more to do with the fact that we're gay than anything else and that truly saddens me. Overall, we're approved and that's the main thing but the fact that APM did what they did just reminds us that this isn't going to be straightforward and even in the most supportive of environments, people may not be as open minded as we'd expect.
Showing posts with label stage one. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stage one. Show all posts
Friday, 7 November 2014
Tuesday, 21 October 2014
The Approval Process
We started this funny old process in April. As i'm writing this, we're less than 24 hours away from (hopefully) being approved.
When we started we were keen to learn and talk to as many people as possible to get as much insight into what it means to be an adoptive parent, something that i think we've done quite successfully to date and as a result, we've developed some awesome friendships.
Stage one was great, very much the start of a sharp learning curve. We completed our workshops and really enjoyed them. We got talking to some of the people there too and are keeping in touch with them, one of the couples has their panel straight after ours.
Once we got to stage 2 the workshops seemed to relax a little. The information was a little more intense but the participants seemed to be more laid back and it was actually a lot of fun. Our agency has a brilliant approach to the workshops and really gives us a lot of information and is always offering to support further learning.
We have learned so much throughout the workshops and have found them to be an invaluable experience, they really do go above and beyond in every way!
Our social worker is so fantastic, talk about going above and beyond, she replies to any message as soon as she gets it. That's whether she's working or not, if it's 11pm on a Friday night, she replies. She's been known to send us emails at almost midnight before, we could not have asked for a better or more committed social worker, she's amazing!!
Our home study was brilliant!!! So cool to sit and discuss stuff with someone new. Parts of it were quite tough and that left us both feeling quite tired with crazy headaches afterwards but we were fully supported by our social worker all the way through. We're able to be completely honest with her about anything and everything. If you're doing your home study, make sure you allow plenty of time (we were told an hour and half to 2 hours each time and they were more like 2 and half to 3 hours most of the time) and if possible, don't go to work afterwards.
Towards the end of stage 2 we attended a home finding seminar. Completely invaluable, it set out what to expect from approval panel onwards which is something we've shared with family so that they know what to expect from us.
We've decided that we won't share anything about how home finding is going until we have a milestone reached, our emotions are going to be pushed to the limits through matching and we just don't want the added pressure of people knowing every single interest we have or don't have.
We started looking at profiles a few weeks ago and it's tough. To look at a few paragraphs and try and decide whether or not that child/those children could be your children is so hard.
The really bizarre thing about the approval process is how straight forward it's been. I don't know if that's down to how our agency have handled it or what but everything seems to have fallen into place in front of us. Any time we've had a worry, the solution has come within a couple of weeks at most. Everything has flowed so easily so far that it's completely like it was the perfect time for us to start it all. So happy and really looking forward to what the future holds!!
So for now, this is where we are.
When we started we were keen to learn and talk to as many people as possible to get as much insight into what it means to be an adoptive parent, something that i think we've done quite successfully to date and as a result, we've developed some awesome friendships.
Stage one was great, very much the start of a sharp learning curve. We completed our workshops and really enjoyed them. We got talking to some of the people there too and are keeping in touch with them, one of the couples has their panel straight after ours.
Once we got to stage 2 the workshops seemed to relax a little. The information was a little more intense but the participants seemed to be more laid back and it was actually a lot of fun. Our agency has a brilliant approach to the workshops and really gives us a lot of information and is always offering to support further learning.
We have learned so much throughout the workshops and have found them to be an invaluable experience, they really do go above and beyond in every way!
Our social worker is so fantastic, talk about going above and beyond, she replies to any message as soon as she gets it. That's whether she's working or not, if it's 11pm on a Friday night, she replies. She's been known to send us emails at almost midnight before, we could not have asked for a better or more committed social worker, she's amazing!!
Our home study was brilliant!!! So cool to sit and discuss stuff with someone new. Parts of it were quite tough and that left us both feeling quite tired with crazy headaches afterwards but we were fully supported by our social worker all the way through. We're able to be completely honest with her about anything and everything. If you're doing your home study, make sure you allow plenty of time (we were told an hour and half to 2 hours each time and they were more like 2 and half to 3 hours most of the time) and if possible, don't go to work afterwards.
Towards the end of stage 2 we attended a home finding seminar. Completely invaluable, it set out what to expect from approval panel onwards which is something we've shared with family so that they know what to expect from us.
We've decided that we won't share anything about how home finding is going until we have a milestone reached, our emotions are going to be pushed to the limits through matching and we just don't want the added pressure of people knowing every single interest we have or don't have.
We started looking at profiles a few weeks ago and it's tough. To look at a few paragraphs and try and decide whether or not that child/those children could be your children is so hard.
The really bizarre thing about the approval process is how straight forward it's been. I don't know if that's down to how our agency have handled it or what but everything seems to have fallen into place in front of us. Any time we've had a worry, the solution has come within a couple of weeks at most. Everything has flowed so easily so far that it's completely like it was the perfect time for us to start it all. So happy and really looking forward to what the future holds!!
So for now, this is where we are.
Friday, 20 June 2014
Stage One
We're officially in Stage 2! We're really pleased that everything has gone relatively smoothly up until this point and just want to make a note of it all for future reference.
We were accepted onto Stage one in April and straight away we jumped into doing our homework (the enormous mountain of the stuff!!) and had our first workshop the following week.
The homework was more awkward that anything. Talking about yourself isn't something that comes naturally to a lot of people and we definitely fit in that category. Some questions were really simple to answer but others were difficult. To be asked what you feel your best characteristic is when it comes to being a parent and yet you've never been a parent, it's difficult. We both answered as honestly as we could and used friends and family to help with some of the difficult bits.
The workshops were really helpful, we covered a hell of a lot in the few hours that we had. We did an exercise with bits of string where one of the group had to be a child that was about to be adopted but we had to think of all of the people that had been in her life up until that point and how she felt about them and what they meant to her. We both found that exercise in particular, very helpful.
In the following workshop, we had a discussion about the specifics of abuse (i've mentioned this in another post) which again was helpful but draining.
We have been reading lots of blogs during stage one and we're going to point family and friends in their direction a little later on in the process.
We've both read 'Creating Loving Attachments' too. I have found this to be seriously helpful and have already recommended it to someone who is struggling and arguing lots with her birth children. Even when we've been babysitting for our many nephews, we've tried to use some of the stuff mentioned to try and get us used to it. What with that and Nick King's (follow the guy on twitter, lots of laughs and some good advice from time to time) '7 second rule', we're awesome babysitters! Not 100% sure about how it'll transfer when we have our children but we're starting as we mean to go on.
We had our end of stage one interview with our agency, this took us a little by surprise. We weren't told anything about it before we got there then were told that it takes about 3 hours...totally shocked but tried to hide it and answer everything as well as we could. It all seemed to go well although with hindsight, we both agreed that we could have answered some of the questions much better and at the end we were told that both social workers were happy for us to proceed but the manager had to sign off.
After that we were both relieved and started talking more about what we were expecting in stage 2.
Weirdly, i then had a wobble for a couple of days where the thought of becoming a parent terrified me. One thing that i've learnt through reading about PACE is the importance of acceptance and that starting with the acceptance of your child's 'inner life'.
Knowing that and experiencing the fear that i was, i suddenly realised that i need to accept it. It might sound strange but i was scared for a reason, i was scared that i couldn't cope with the sorts of behaviours we might be faced but regardless of how much i tried to deny it, i would still feel that way and that's fine.
Since then i have accepted that it's fine to be scared. I think that if you're not all scared about the prospect of suddenly having a child or two move in with you forever, that's a little weird.
We are going to face challenges that we've never had to face before and that is scary and intimidating but we are so determined to do everything we can to make it work. We're determined to learn as much as possible between here and there and then to continue that learning for as long as possible.
We're not always going to get it right but the fact that we care enough to want to always get it right speaks volumes.
Thank you to those of you on Twitter that helped me see that.
We were accepted onto Stage one in April and straight away we jumped into doing our homework (the enormous mountain of the stuff!!) and had our first workshop the following week.
The homework was more awkward that anything. Talking about yourself isn't something that comes naturally to a lot of people and we definitely fit in that category. Some questions were really simple to answer but others were difficult. To be asked what you feel your best characteristic is when it comes to being a parent and yet you've never been a parent, it's difficult. We both answered as honestly as we could and used friends and family to help with some of the difficult bits.
The workshops were really helpful, we covered a hell of a lot in the few hours that we had. We did an exercise with bits of string where one of the group had to be a child that was about to be adopted but we had to think of all of the people that had been in her life up until that point and how she felt about them and what they meant to her. We both found that exercise in particular, very helpful.
In the following workshop, we had a discussion about the specifics of abuse (i've mentioned this in another post) which again was helpful but draining.
We have been reading lots of blogs during stage one and we're going to point family and friends in their direction a little later on in the process.
We've both read 'Creating Loving Attachments' too. I have found this to be seriously helpful and have already recommended it to someone who is struggling and arguing lots with her birth children. Even when we've been babysitting for our many nephews, we've tried to use some of the stuff mentioned to try and get us used to it. What with that and Nick King's (follow the guy on twitter, lots of laughs and some good advice from time to time) '7 second rule', we're awesome babysitters! Not 100% sure about how it'll transfer when we have our children but we're starting as we mean to go on.
We had our end of stage one interview with our agency, this took us a little by surprise. We weren't told anything about it before we got there then were told that it takes about 3 hours...totally shocked but tried to hide it and answer everything as well as we could. It all seemed to go well although with hindsight, we both agreed that we could have answered some of the questions much better and at the end we were told that both social workers were happy for us to proceed but the manager had to sign off.
After that we were both relieved and started talking more about what we were expecting in stage 2.
Weirdly, i then had a wobble for a couple of days where the thought of becoming a parent terrified me. One thing that i've learnt through reading about PACE is the importance of acceptance and that starting with the acceptance of your child's 'inner life'.
Knowing that and experiencing the fear that i was, i suddenly realised that i need to accept it. It might sound strange but i was scared for a reason, i was scared that i couldn't cope with the sorts of behaviours we might be faced but regardless of how much i tried to deny it, i would still feel that way and that's fine.
Since then i have accepted that it's fine to be scared. I think that if you're not all scared about the prospect of suddenly having a child or two move in with you forever, that's a little weird.
We are going to face challenges that we've never had to face before and that is scary and intimidating but we are so determined to do everything we can to make it work. We're determined to learn as much as possible between here and there and then to continue that learning for as long as possible.
We're not always going to get it right but the fact that we care enough to want to always get it right speaks volumes.
Thank you to those of you on Twitter that helped me see that.
Thursday, 15 May 2014
Workshops
We attended our second workshop as part of stage one yesterday and i felt the need to blog about it.
The first briefly covered loss and grief, contact, becoming part of a minority group and legal issues. This was very informative and we both came away having learnt more than we were expecting and both had a different perspective of things from the childs point of view.
This week we attended the workshop dealing with child development, attachment, abuse and trauma and parenting, healing and hope.
This was a different kettle of fish. The abuse and trauma sections really had an impact on me to the point where i was exhausted by the time we got home and it wasn't even 8pm. I think it's completely normal to be in a situation where you're thinking about abuse and its effects (affects?!? i never know the difference) for it to have that sort of impact. It was mentally draining.
Whilst we were talking about abuse we had to give examples of neglect, emotional, sexual and physical abuse and domestic violence. All of that was fine and completely understandable but a couple of things that were said proved to be very controversial in the room.
When we were discussing emotional abuse, someone said that post natal depression was a form of abuse. Quite a few of us were shocked that it came up in that context without explanation and one woman spoke up. She was very unhappy with it being classed as abuse and gave examples of friends who would have been mortified to hear the same thing after going through it themselves.
I completely agreed with her. I personally don't think that PND is abusive. I think the repercussions of it can be in certain circumstances but this wasn't considered until it was challenged.
The next thing that was difficult was discussing sexual abuse. This is never going to be an easy subject for anyone to discuss, we all know that it happens and what it entails but to sit and talk about the technicalities and exactly what goes on is a whole other ball game.
So far this has been the only thing that has made me uncomfortable. It sounds daft as a grown adult but sex has never been something that has been discussed in my family (apart from the time that my Granny had a serious water infection and was convinced that the doctors were trying to have sex with her!) and to discuss it out in the open like that was weird. I know that makes me sound immature but even now, sex is a taboo subject with my lot.
We've been having lots of discussions about the sorts of children we feel that we'd be able to adopt and we've both said that we don't feel as though we have the right skills to be able to raise a child who has been sexually abused. The social workers made a point of basically saying that we can't say no to sexual abuse because they can't possible know everything before a child is placed.
This bothered us both again because if something came up then we would find a way to deal with it whilst keeping our children's best interests at heart but neither of us feel comfortable with taking on a child who is known to have experienced sexual abuse.
All in all, yesterday was tiring!
The first briefly covered loss and grief, contact, becoming part of a minority group and legal issues. This was very informative and we both came away having learnt more than we were expecting and both had a different perspective of things from the childs point of view.
This week we attended the workshop dealing with child development, attachment, abuse and trauma and parenting, healing and hope.
This was a different kettle of fish. The abuse and trauma sections really had an impact on me to the point where i was exhausted by the time we got home and it wasn't even 8pm. I think it's completely normal to be in a situation where you're thinking about abuse and its effects (affects?!? i never know the difference) for it to have that sort of impact. It was mentally draining.
Whilst we were talking about abuse we had to give examples of neglect, emotional, sexual and physical abuse and domestic violence. All of that was fine and completely understandable but a couple of things that were said proved to be very controversial in the room.
When we were discussing emotional abuse, someone said that post natal depression was a form of abuse. Quite a few of us were shocked that it came up in that context without explanation and one woman spoke up. She was very unhappy with it being classed as abuse and gave examples of friends who would have been mortified to hear the same thing after going through it themselves.
I completely agreed with her. I personally don't think that PND is abusive. I think the repercussions of it can be in certain circumstances but this wasn't considered until it was challenged.
The next thing that was difficult was discussing sexual abuse. This is never going to be an easy subject for anyone to discuss, we all know that it happens and what it entails but to sit and talk about the technicalities and exactly what goes on is a whole other ball game.
So far this has been the only thing that has made me uncomfortable. It sounds daft as a grown adult but sex has never been something that has been discussed in my family (apart from the time that my Granny had a serious water infection and was convinced that the doctors were trying to have sex with her!) and to discuss it out in the open like that was weird. I know that makes me sound immature but even now, sex is a taboo subject with my lot.
We've been having lots of discussions about the sorts of children we feel that we'd be able to adopt and we've both said that we don't feel as though we have the right skills to be able to raise a child who has been sexually abused. The social workers made a point of basically saying that we can't say no to sexual abuse because they can't possible know everything before a child is placed.
This bothered us both again because if something came up then we would find a way to deal with it whilst keeping our children's best interests at heart but neither of us feel comfortable with taking on a child who is known to have experienced sexual abuse.
All in all, yesterday was tiring!
Thursday, 1 May 2014
If you follow me on twitter, you'll know that i have been cracking one with my stage one homework recently and it's been going well.
We had our first visit from our stage one social worker this week so that she could help with/ask about our homework. She was pleased with our progress and was keen to talk about some of the bits that seemed a little silly etc.
One of the pieces of homework is for us to do our 'eco map'. This is basically a list of people and organisations who will be there to help with support etc when any children come to live with you. She mentioned that we shouldn't forget things like CAMHS and the agency as well as friends and family.
I mentioned that we'd listed twitter as a good source of support and she was very intrigued. I explained that i'd set up a new user and had linked up with lots of other people who are going through the process and have adopted and she was quite impressed.
So far in this journey, twitter has been incredible. the support and advice we've received has been second to none! The blogs we've connected with are brilliant, they're honest and informative in a way that we haven't experienced with the process yet. I'm so happy that i decided to set up a new user for this, it really is the best decision (other than which agency to go with) we've made to date.
When we were trying to conceive, we dabbled into the pregnancy and baby blogs and following people on twitter but were pretty much blanked. It felt like being the fat kid at school getting picked last for football, i was an outsider and boy did i know it.
The adoption gang has been the complete opposite and i'm so happy about it. I'm hoping to connect with more people over time, offer support where i can and have somewhere to turn when we need it.
Tuesday, 29 April 2014
Age
That may seem like a weird title to a blog post but since we started the process, age is something that has come up more and more.
Everyone we've told that we're hoping to adopt has asked about the age of the children we're interested in and when we say that we're thinking of up to the age of 7, theres 2 responses. The first is, "Oh but wouldn't you just prefer a baby??" and the other is, "But why 7?"
The first is a little annoying at worst but we explain that a baby isn't the be all and end all of parenting and they get it.
The second is a little more to do with our age. I'm still in my (late) 20s and my wife is only just in her 30s. If we had a child that was older, we're worried that they would feel even more out of place initially and then struggle more with attachment etc because of it.
Plus, if we turn up to school with a 10 year old, there'll be even more questions than there will have been anyway. The playground can be a very cliquey place anyway, we just don't want to add extra strain especially for a child that has been through the mill already. I'm not saying that this sort of stuff won't be an issue with a slightly younger child but i'm hoping it won't be as much of an issue.
Staying on the subject of our age, i feel young! The adoption circles seem to be mainly populated by people who are 35+ and each time i talk to people or see people at our agency, i'm feeling very aware of the fact that i'm a 20 something still.
Our agency haven't mentioned it at all and the fact that we've been together for over 10 years helps a lot but i'm still very aware of it. I'm hoping our maturity helps too, we've both been described as 'wiser than our years' since we were small.
I'm not sure whether being younger is going to go in our favour or not but i hope it does. After all, age isn't everything.
Everyone we've told that we're hoping to adopt has asked about the age of the children we're interested in and when we say that we're thinking of up to the age of 7, theres 2 responses. The first is, "Oh but wouldn't you just prefer a baby??" and the other is, "But why 7?"
The first is a little annoying at worst but we explain that a baby isn't the be all and end all of parenting and they get it.
The second is a little more to do with our age. I'm still in my (late) 20s and my wife is only just in her 30s. If we had a child that was older, we're worried that they would feel even more out of place initially and then struggle more with attachment etc because of it.
Plus, if we turn up to school with a 10 year old, there'll be even more questions than there will have been anyway. The playground can be a very cliquey place anyway, we just don't want to add extra strain especially for a child that has been through the mill already. I'm not saying that this sort of stuff won't be an issue with a slightly younger child but i'm hoping it won't be as much of an issue.
Staying on the subject of our age, i feel young! The adoption circles seem to be mainly populated by people who are 35+ and each time i talk to people or see people at our agency, i'm feeling very aware of the fact that i'm a 20 something still.
Our agency haven't mentioned it at all and the fact that we've been together for over 10 years helps a lot but i'm still very aware of it. I'm hoping our maturity helps too, we've both been described as 'wiser than our years' since we were small.
I'm not sure whether being younger is going to go in our favour or not but i hope it does. After all, age isn't everything.
Saturday, 19 April 2014
The case of the medical and the superhero pants...
Oh my word was that a nightmare!
I booked in no problems. I was told that it would take 45 minutes at most so blocked an hour and half out in my diary.
I got to the surgery early and expected to see a doctor that i had never seen before and i was right. He was lovely but had never done an adoption medical.
This was where the issues started. He went through the pleasantries and said how weird it was that this stuff had to be done for people that were adopting but anyone could have a baby at any point without the slightest batting of an eyelid.
He went through all of the basics of the form and detailed my history before getting to the nitty gritty bit. By this point, i'd already been there for the best part of an hour.
Next came the onslaught of weird test after weird test. I know they were weird because he said, "I haven't done this since medical school!" at least 3 or 4 times.
The weirdest, by far, was when he asked me to flash him. He needed to check the shape of my chest so asked me to stand in front of him and raise my top....if he wasn't a doctor, i would have to call him a pervert.
The most embarrassing part was when he had to check my glands. He explained that you have glands in your next, armpits and groin. Next thing i had to do was drop my pants and get on the bed...again with the 'if he wasn't a doctor' thing.
I dutifully dropped my jeans and got on the bed, completely forgetting that i had wonder woman pants on and didn't remember until i got home. I'm sure he'll remember that if i ever have to see him again!
It came to taking my blood pressure. At this point i have been in with the doctor for an hour and 15 minutes and i'm about to be late for work. Obviously, it's high. Not scary high but much higher than it should be. At this point we agree that we don't have enough time to finish off today so book another appointment for the following week to finish off.
The morning of the appointment, i find out my Mum had been mugged the evening before. I then realised (as i got to the surgery) that i had forgotten to bring any money with me. Bang goes the blood pressure again!!
My blood pressure was much better than the previous week but it was still higher than it should be so although it's not a problem for the form, i have been told to got to see a nurse next month just to get it checked again.
In the meantime i am going to be exercising more and watching what i eat more, i don't want this to turn into a problem that i could and should have prevented.
On a lighter note, the doctor let me take my form there and then so i took it down to the agency straightaway.
I booked in no problems. I was told that it would take 45 minutes at most so blocked an hour and half out in my diary.
I got to the surgery early and expected to see a doctor that i had never seen before and i was right. He was lovely but had never done an adoption medical.
This was where the issues started. He went through the pleasantries and said how weird it was that this stuff had to be done for people that were adopting but anyone could have a baby at any point without the slightest batting of an eyelid.
He went through all of the basics of the form and detailed my history before getting to the nitty gritty bit. By this point, i'd already been there for the best part of an hour.
Next came the onslaught of weird test after weird test. I know they were weird because he said, "I haven't done this since medical school!" at least 3 or 4 times.
The weirdest, by far, was when he asked me to flash him. He needed to check the shape of my chest so asked me to stand in front of him and raise my top....if he wasn't a doctor, i would have to call him a pervert.
The most embarrassing part was when he had to check my glands. He explained that you have glands in your next, armpits and groin. Next thing i had to do was drop my pants and get on the bed...again with the 'if he wasn't a doctor' thing.
I dutifully dropped my jeans and got on the bed, completely forgetting that i had wonder woman pants on and didn't remember until i got home. I'm sure he'll remember that if i ever have to see him again!
It came to taking my blood pressure. At this point i have been in with the doctor for an hour and 15 minutes and i'm about to be late for work. Obviously, it's high. Not scary high but much higher than it should be. At this point we agree that we don't have enough time to finish off today so book another appointment for the following week to finish off.
The morning of the appointment, i find out my Mum had been mugged the evening before. I then realised (as i got to the surgery) that i had forgotten to bring any money with me. Bang goes the blood pressure again!!
My blood pressure was much better than the previous week but it was still higher than it should be so although it's not a problem for the form, i have been told to got to see a nurse next month just to get it checked again.
In the meantime i am going to be exercising more and watching what i eat more, i don't want this to turn into a problem that i could and should have prevented.
On a lighter note, the doctor let me take my form there and then so i took it down to the agency straightaway.
Tuesday, 8 April 2014
Stage One and being a 'lady partner'
It's official!! We're in stage one!!!
We got the confirmation last Thursday and it's been full steam ahead ever since.
Our referees all received their forms and letters on Saturday, they've all started them and they've all asked to have a chat with us about them to give them the information to fill in any blanks.
I have my medical booked and my wife is booking hers in the next couple of days. Her doctors surgery has been a bit of a nightmare!
The receptionist wouldn't book her in until she'd seen the form. Once she saw the form she sent her away because she hadn't yet filled anything in and the woman that knows what to do with it wasn't it. She filled it in and called ahead of going in and spoke to the correct woman. She told her to bring the form in and they'll take it from there.
She went in after work that night and was almost jumped on by the woman in the know! She knew who she was and kept saying, 'Oh it's so lovely, i'm so proud of you!!" again and again. Then she asked for my form and when she explained that i'm at another doctors she was happy with that. She then turned to the receptionist and said, "oh isn't it lovely, *name* and her lady partner, oh i'm so proud of them!"
Wife left giggling, knowing that i would just love the new term!
We got the confirmation last Thursday and it's been full steam ahead ever since.
Our referees all received their forms and letters on Saturday, they've all started them and they've all asked to have a chat with us about them to give them the information to fill in any blanks.
I have my medical booked and my wife is booking hers in the next couple of days. Her doctors surgery has been a bit of a nightmare!
The receptionist wouldn't book her in until she'd seen the form. Once she saw the form she sent her away because she hadn't yet filled anything in and the woman that knows what to do with it wasn't it. She filled it in and called ahead of going in and spoke to the correct woman. She told her to bring the form in and they'll take it from there.
She went in after work that night and was almost jumped on by the woman in the know! She knew who she was and kept saying, 'Oh it's so lovely, i'm so proud of you!!" again and again. Then she asked for my form and when she explained that i'm at another doctors she was happy with that. She then turned to the receptionist and said, "oh isn't it lovely, *name* and her lady partner, oh i'm so proud of them!"
Wife left giggling, knowing that i would just love the new term!
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